Getting Ready to Go

Well my contract ends in two and a half weeks. My flight leaves three weeks later. I can’t believe it. It makes me sad. That’s why I have delayed in making this post.

I’ve slowly been going through the motions of preparing to leave. I’ve sold quite a few things to other foreigners (and a few Koreans) online. (Thanks Facebook!) And I’ve also donated quite a lot my clothes and bedding to a local orphanage. I still have a lot more to get rid of, though.

To be completely honest, these last couple of weeks I’ve been taking some huge ‘steps backward’ in preparing myself emotionally to leave. I kept looking for reasons for staying: a job, a guy, friends… I haven’t found anything completely convincing.

For some reason, it feels like it will be harder to say ‘goodbye’ to Korea than it was to say ‘goodbye’ to America. Perhaps it’s because, with America, I was initially planning on coming back after a year. It would always be a ‘home’ I could return to. Perhaps, deep down, I almost ‘know’ that I won’t be coming back to Korea. That this will really be my last goodbye. That the home I made for myself here was really as impermanent as it has felt at times. That even though I, at one time, was planning a future here, it will no longer happen. I don’t have a future to look forward to, really, because I have no idea where my life will take me a few months from now. I just ‘know’ that it won’t be in Korea.

The view from the roof of my apartment...gorgeous, isn't it?

The view from the roof of my apartment…gorgeous, isn’t it?

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9 comments

  1. Anonymous · · Reply

    I know is stuff, I recall leaving Fort Drum, even though it was cold most of the time, I missed it. I enjoyed driving to Hudson Falls visit Ron and them, loved those mountain views.<Life goes on. That old second book store, that watertown cheap plaza, you girls and so on,these will always remain in my mind of struggling times, but they are also of nostaligic times. But it was a period of you girls growing .. over all not a bad ride. Hey same with, Italy, panama when i was in air ambulance. we truely don{t know what we have until we loose . Than again that is the beauty of it, start a new and make more memorable memories…

    1. Yes, new memories to look forward to. I’m still looking on going to Panama but I think I’ll know the exact time frame once I get back into the States. Things just feel too hectic right now.

  2. Anonymous · · Reply

    By the way that old man in the foto is going to be me, in a couple of years… looking at what once was.. and where <I am at……ha..

    1. There’s no old man in my foto. jaja

  3. Josh G. · · Reply

    Well sorry to hear your so torn right now. But although certain things may not have gone according to plan I do know that there are a lot of people here that I’m sure are dying to see you again. Different experiences in life eventually all come to an end but it’s the adventure that makes it memorable. You my friend had an adventure that not many people ever get the chance to experience. Did lots of fun things met a few friends and some loved one’s. All of which im sure ull never forget and one day you’ll be old and busted telling ur grand kids about the best time of ur life. But anyways keep ur had up jacky and can’t wait to see you.

    1. Wow thanks for the comment! It’s been so weird not having a plan after having plans consistently for most of my life. I don’t feel like my adventure is over. PRETTY SURE I’m going to Panama–just not sure on when. I do hope to see you before I go, I have at least one trip planned in your ‘general direction.’

      1. Josh G. · · Reply

        Sweet look forward to seeing you. And going to Panama sounds awesome. I know ur dad is excited. But when u get back to the states lmk and we’ll hang out.

  4. Anonymous · · Reply

    cant you resign your contract??

    1. I could have renewed my contract, but I had already made a decision (in this post: http://jaclyna.com/2013/05/25/update/ ) and when I started having second thoughts last month, it was already too late. My contract ends in 2.5 weeks.

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